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		<title>Latest Forum Topics</title>
		<link>http://fizma.com/forum/</link>
		<description>List of the latest topics from our public forum.</description>
		<item>
			<title>Dear...........</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/complete-utter-nonsence-20/dear/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Dear Noah,<br /><br />We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.<br /><br />Sincerely, Unicorns<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Twilight fans,<br /><br />Please realize that because vamp...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Dear Noah,<br /><br />We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.<br /><br />Sincerely, Unicorns<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Twilight fans,<br /><br />Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.<br /><br />Enjoy fantasizing about that.<br /><br />Sincerely, Logic<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Icebergs,<br /><br />Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.<br /><br />Sincerely, The Titanic<br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear America,<br /><br />You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.<br /><br />Sincerely, Canada<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Boyfriend,<br /><br />I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.<br /><br />Sincerely, Spiders<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Voldemort,<br /><br />So they screwed up your nose too?<br /><br />Sincerely, Michael Jackson<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Yahoo,<br /><br />I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...<br /><br />Sincerely, Google<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear girls who have been dumped,<br /><br />There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.<br /><br />Sincerely, BP<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear 2010,<br /><br />So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!<br /><br />Sincerely, 1985<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Justin Bieber,<br /><br />Ariel would really love her voice back.<br /><br />Sincerely, King Triton<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Rose,<br /><br />There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.<br /><br />Sincerely, Jack<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Windshield Wipers,<br /><br />Can't touch this.<br /><br />Sincerely, That Little Triangle<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Taylor Swift,<br /><br />If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.<br /><br />Sincerely, Shakespeare<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Soccer Fans,<br /><br />B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z<br /><br /> Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!<br /><br />Sincerely, Vuvuzelas<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Saturn,<br /><br />I liked it, so I put a ring on it.<br /><br />Sincerely, God<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Rubik's Cube,<br /><br />Done!<br /><br />Sincerely, Colorblind<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Santa,<br /><br />Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.<br /><br />Sincerely, Tiger Woods<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,<br /><br />I. Can't. Breathe.<br /><br />Sincerely, Your Balls<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,<br /><br />I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?<br /><br />Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Sleeping Beauty,<br /><br />I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.<br /><br />All you had to do was wake up.<br /><br />Sincerely, Mulan<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Romeo,<br /><br />My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...<br /><br />Sincerely, Juliet<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Fox News,<br /><br />So far, no news about foxes.<br /><br />Sincerely, Unimpressed<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Sex Educators,<br /><br />Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.<br /><br />Sincerely, The Virgin Mary<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Toaster,<br /><br />Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?<br /><br />Sincerely, Toast<br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Edward,<br /><br />I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.<br /><br />Sincerely, a stake<br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Prince Charming,<br /><br />You've got some explaining to do!<br /><br />Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/complete-utter-nonsence-20/dear/</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:24:29 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Rhiannon</dc:creator>
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			<title><![CDATA[[FF] Family First Mafia Clan]]></title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/mafia-wars-clans-33/ff-family-first-mafia-clan/</link>
			<description>Family First Mafia Clan is a family first than a clan as the name states. We do not have a GF or GM as we built this clan for the members enjoyment of...</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Family First Mafia Clan is a family first than a clan as the name states. We do not have a GF or GM as we built this clan for the members enjoyment of Mafia Wars. Family is what we are all about. We have a seven member council. All of us have been together for quite awhile now in our transitioning from previous clans.We started with AHM (Ant Hill Mob). Then went to MDK(Mafia Don Killaz) before deciding to start this group. No one person on the council makes decisions on their own all decisions are made as a group and must have a majority. We always will keep all members in the loop on happenings within the clan.<br /><br />We believe in support-whether it is about the game or about real life. We are a true family who call each other brother and sister. So if are looking for a place to have fun and meet cool people-welcome home<br /><br />Our FB PAGE  <br />http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=247958142266<br /><br />We accept all mafia levels and experience levels. All that we ask is that you are an active player and interested in being a part of a family environment. &#42;&#42;Single tags only&#42;&#42;<br /><br />Advantages of tagging with [FF]:<br />- Family environment<br />- Assistance in growing your mafia members<br />- Active chatroom- weekly trivia<br />- Player assistance<br />- Weapons/Collection Shop<br />- Tagged members page<br />- Hit Squad protection<br />- Mock Wars<br />- Special Ops Group <br />- Toolbar: Streamlines mafia experience/Group news]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/mafia-wars-clans-33/ff-family-first-mafia-clan/</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 30 Dec 2010 06:12:16 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Cheryl Rise</dc:creator>
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			<title>Links to Listen In</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/meet-the-djs-27/links-to-listen-in/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Winamp:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.pls<br /><br />Windows Media Player:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.a...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Winamp:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.pls<br /><br />Windows Media Player:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.asx<br /><br />Real Player:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.ram<br /><br />QuickTime:  	http://st2.webradioworld.net/tunein.php/fizma/playlist.qtl]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/meet-the-djs-27/links-to-listen-in/</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 06 Dec 2010 11:50:22 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>GillyGirl</dc:creator>
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			<title>Staff List</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/meet-the-djs-27/staff-list/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Here is a list of the Current Staff and Positions.<br /><br /><br /><u><b>Managment</b></u><br />Rhiannon Gill - Owner<br />Glenda Gill - Owner<br />Christopher Burkhardt - Technical <br />Jane Lu - PhpFox ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Here is a list of the Current Staff and Positions.<br /><br /><br /><u><b>Managment</b></u><br />Rhiannon Gill - Owner<br />Glenda Gill - Owner<br />Christopher Burkhardt - Technical <br />Jane Lu - PhpFox and WebDesigner <br />Seenu - PhpFox <br /><br />Fizma Music Managers<br />Carl<br />Alicia<br /><br /><u><b>Disk Jockey</b></u><br />DJ Bevv<br />DJ AusRhiannon<br />DJ Sliktrax<br />DJ DizzyG<br />DJ Kermi<br />DJ Drake<br />DJ Master K<br />DJ Rippen<br />DJ C<br />DJ JB Caos]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/meet-the-djs-27/staff-list/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 28 Nov 2010 19:44:04 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Chris Burkhardt</dc:creator>
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			<title>Marc Chubbuck - Polygamy, Attempted Murder and Theft</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/marc-chubbuck-polygamy-attempted-murder-and-theft/</link>
			<description>This is NOT my story, I was given it as well as asked to put it up. Only this paragraph is actually mine lol But all the rest of this blog is written ...</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[This is NOT my story, I was given it as well as asked to put it up. Only this paragraph is actually mine lol But all the rest of this blog is written by another person and persons. Its time for them to tell their story and be heard. I admire both of them, I really do. I guess this story is more of a warning to people who work on the net, just because you trust someone, doesnt mean that they are trustworthy.<br /><br /><blockquote>??????? married Marc on June 15, 1990 in Elizabethtown (Hardin County), Kentucky. He was stationed at Ft. Knox when I met him (he was just out of basic and was in AIT to be a tank mechanic--NOT military police as he claims). His first duty station (before we were married) was at Ft. Polk, LA. After our marriage I moved from my home in Kentucky to be with him there. He was discharged in early August of 1990 (this is when the military was downsizing just before the first Gulf War). We moved to Brockton, MA (his hometown) and lived there until July of 1991 when we moved to California (where our daughter was born). He left us 9 days after she was born. He went back to MA and I came home to KY. I filed for divorce in 1992 and wasn't granted the divorce until March 5, 1995 (he couldn't be found so I was granted an emergency divorce). He saw our daughter once (April 1994) when he was ordered to court over a family matter. The judge asked him why he wasn't paying child support and his response was "I didn't think I had to." and he was ordered to pay $48/week. He made 5 payments and stopped (hence the tax intercept I had on him for arrearages). He spoke to her again after I remarried only because he was being deployed to Iraq (2004)<br /><br />I have his deployment papers AND my daughters military ID she received because she was his dependent. <br /><br />He was in Iraq 5 months and came back stateside for 2 weeks "R & R" but had to leave early to go back per his CO's orders. He returned to Iraq (I have SOME pictures he took over there--not many) and completed his deployment. Our daughter went to visit him in Canton, MA for the summer of 2005 when he was with his then-fianc&#233;e.<br /><br />?????????? (wife # 3 and 4) married Marc sometime during his marriage to (late 1998 or early 1999). The marriages were annulled and he went to jail for bigamy. He conned her into remarrying him (not sure of the date). He has his military dress uniform on with name tag, ribbons, etc in their wedding picture). He abused her their entire marriage and was even served with a restraining order. Sometime during this time he stole a dump truck from Coleman Company in Brockton, MA, drove it to New Hampshire with the intention of killing ???????? and another woman. He was arrested and served jail time (not sure when this happened but it was in the News Enterprise because he is shown being led in handcuffs by two officers).<br /><br />????? (current wife who is pregnant with his child) and Marc were married October 31, 2009 (very fitting). She was aware of my existence but not the other wives until I sent her all the information I had on him. He lied on his marriage license application (thus making their marriage and possibly other marriages null and void). She was upset and obviously distraught over this information, however she remains married to him. Marc has banned her from having a relationship with my daughter because HE knows she will out him for the psychotic slime he is. He constantly monitors Melissa's Facebook AND Myspace pages for any activity from her to our daughter. There are pictures somewhere on Facebook (I believe his sister-in-law's account) with their wedding pictures and he's wearing his dress uniform from the military but is NOT currently enlisted (active or National Guard) because he was denied a second deployment to Iraq due to his mental status. I know this because I was contacted by his CO's wife (National Guard unit in New Hampshire) when they were up for a 2nd deployment and we were trying to get all the paperwork together for our daughter's military ID and she told me he wasn't going due to the failed mental test they give all the soldiers. This was around 4th of July weekend in 2006.<br /><br />It's believe his current "marriage" to ?????? may be his 9th or 10th marriage (maybe more than that). I refuse to pay for information regarding past marriages. <br /><br />He graduated high school from Brockton High School in Brockton, MA in 1989. He enlisted right after high school. He was stationed at Ft. Knox, KY for basic and AIT. That is where I met him. When he was stationed at Ft. Polk, LA (and after our marriage) I was called into his CO's office because Marc had been accused of stealing from other soldiers in the barracks (before we were married). The items he was accused of stealing: laundry soap and blank cassette tapes.  Nothing was ever verified. When he was discharged and we moved to Brockton he held 23 jobs from August, 1990 to September, 1991 and he was fired from all of them. He gave my chlamydia (I found out when I was pregnant) and cheated on me during our marriage. He pinned me to the wall of our home when I was 8 months pregnant (because I didn't want to have sex with him) and I dropped him to the ground. He got fired from the job my dad got him in California the day before I gave birth to our daughter. He didn't get to the hospital until 4 hours AFTER she was born. He and my dad got into an argument on the way home from the hospital and he punched the side of my parents' trailer, leaving a huge dent in it.<br /><br />Marc supposedly has a web design company called MJC Web Designs. To my knowledge he's never made a dime off it and apparently isn't very good at it, otherwise he'd be making money hand over fist. He has stolen money from his current wife (and I'm sure many others). He was caught in front of his parents' house in Brockton with another woman in the back seat of our car making out with her (should have been my queue to leave but dumb-ass me didn't--see what a great con man he is?).<br /></blockquote><br /><a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=sqjqqf"><img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/sqjqqf.jpg" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=30wseid"><img src="http://i52.tinypic.com/30wseid.jpg" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" /></a>]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/marc-chubbuck-polygamy-attempted-murder-and-theft/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Nov 2010 23:52:32 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Rhiannon</dc:creator>
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			<title>Registered User tooooooooooo ????</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/registered-user-tooooooooooo-2/</link>
			<description>When you first joined you may have noticed the Registered User next to your name, its been changed to Fizma Fan, but if you can think of another fun n...</description>
			<content:encoded>When you first joined you may have noticed the Registered User next to your name, its been changed to Fizma Fan, but if you can think of another fun name to use, please let us know.</content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/registered-user-tooooooooooo-2/</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:19:12 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>GillyGirl</dc:creator>
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			<title>Registered User tooooooooooo ????</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/registered-user-tooooooooooo/</link>
			<description>When you first joined you may have noticed the Registered User next to your name, its been changed to Fizma Fan, but if you can think of another fun n...</description>
			<content:encoded>When you first joined you may have noticed the Registered User next to your name, its been changed to Fizma Fan, but if you can think of another fun name to use, please let us know.</content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/anything-goes-23/registered-user-tooooooooooo/</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 22 Oct 2010 13:19:05 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>GillyGirl</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 15/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-15-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs905.snc4/71852_162143357147377_160516390643407_412806_2374398_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101015 "Alone You Will Command" by Shift+F7]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs905.snc4/71852_162143357147377_160516390643407_412806_2374398_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101015 "Alone You Will Command" by Shift+F7]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-15-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:38:51 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 14/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-14-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs005.ash2/33609_161877903840589_160516390643407_411468_6526643_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101014 "Altar Servers" by Dawkface<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs025.snc4/33609_161877907173922_160516390643407_411469_8179818_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101014 "Caps Lock" by Shift+F7]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs005.ash2/33609_161877903840589_160516390643407_411468_6526643_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101014 "Altar Servers" by Dawkface<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs025.snc4/33609_161877907173922_160516390643407_411469_8179818_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101014 "Caps Lock" by Shift+F7]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-14-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:34:51 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 13/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-13-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs814.snc4/69462_161584373869942_160516390643407_410562_6877085_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101013 "Clean Kitchen" by Shift+F7<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs402.ash2/68029_161584413869938_160516390643407_410563_2741582_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101013 "Marriage" by Shift+F7]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs814.snc4/69462_161584373869942_160516390643407_410562_6877085_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101013 "Clean Kitchen" by Shift+F7<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs402.ash2/68029_161584413869938_160516390643407_410563_2741582_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101013 "Marriage" by Shift+F7]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-13-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:33:20 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 12/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-12-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs906.snc4/71902_161332883895091_160516390643407_409499_4035504_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101012 "I've Been Thinking" by Shift+F7]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs906.snc4/71902_161332883895091_160516390643407_409499_4035504_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101012 "I've Been Thinking" by Shift+F7]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-12-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:29:48 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 11/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-11-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs386.ash2/66494_161005137261199_160516390643407_408029_5811496_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101011 "Nervous" by Shift+F7<br /><br />As a side note, being capped on interwebs really [INSERT TEXT HERE] and stuff <img src="http://fizma.com/file/pic/emoticon/default/unhappy.png" alt="Unhappy" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs386.ash2/66494_161005137261199_160516390643407_408029_5811496_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />101011 "Nervous" by Shift+F7<br /><br />As a side note, being capped on interwebs really [INSERT TEXT HERE] and stuff <img src="http://fizma.com/file/pic/emoticon/default/unhappy.png" alt="Unhappy" />]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-11-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:26:42 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Comics for 10/10/10</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-10-10-10/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs407.snc4/47061_160578983970481_160516390643407_405306_3663558_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />"People In The World" by Shift+F7<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs783.snc4/66368_160580300637016_160516390643407_405396_1436033_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />"Research" by Shift+F7<br />EXPLANATION: Copying from one is 'plaigarism'; copying from many is 'research']]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs407.snc4/47061_160578983970481_160516390643407_405306_3663558_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />"People In The World" by Shift+F7<br /><br /><img src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs783.snc4/66368_160580300637016_160516390643407_405396_1436033_n.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />"Research" by Shift+F7<br />EXPLANATION: Copying from one is 'plaigarism'; copying from many is 'research']]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/cartoons-38/comics-for-10-10-10/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sun, 10 Oct 2010 01:34:52 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Peato Perez</dc:creator>
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			<title>Aussie Tracker</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/politically-incorrect-jokes-39/aussie-tracker/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists<br /><br />the Top End On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australia...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists<br /><br />the Top End On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian<br /><br />Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through  the air, under the sea.<br /><br /> The Americans were incredulous.<br /><br />Then later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered,<br /><br />lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine.<br />       He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held  high in the air.<br />       The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the  prostrate Aborigine.  <br /><br />"Jacky," said the tour guide, "what are you tracking and what are you  listening for?"<br />       The aborigine replied, "Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Valiant Ute.<br />       It's red. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack  and it has<br /><br />Dents in every panel.  There are 9 fellas in the back, all drinking warm sherry.<br /><br />There  are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat."<br /><br />The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.<br /><br />        "Goddammit man, how do you know all that?" asked one.  <br /><br />The Aborigine replied,<br /><br />"I fell out of the f--- king  thing about half an  hour ago!"]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/politically-incorrect-jokes-39/aussie-tracker/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sat, 09 Oct 2010 11:51:03 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Rhiannon</dc:creator>
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			<title>AN AUSTRALIAN LOVE POEM</title>
			<link>http://fizma.com/forum/politically-incorrect-jokes-39/an-australian-love-poem/</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Of course I love ya darling<br />You're a bloody top notch bird<br />And when I say you're gorgeous<br />I mean every single word<br /> <br /><br />So ya bum is on the big side<br />I d...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Of course I love ya darling<br />You're a bloody top notch bird<br />And when I say you're gorgeous<br />I mean every single word<br /> <br /><br />So ya bum is on the big side<br />I don't mind a bit of flab<br />It means that when I'm ready<br />There's somethin' there to grab<br /><br />So your belly ain't flat no more<br />I tell ya, I don't care<br />So long as when I cuddle ya<br />I can get my arms round there<br /> <br /><br /> No sheila who is your age<br />Has nice round perky breasts<br />They just gave in to gravity<br />But I know ya did ya best<br /> <br /><br />I'm tellin ya the truth now<br />I never tell ya lies<br />I think its very sexy<br />That you've got dimples on ya thighs<br /> <br /><br />I swear on me nanna's grave now<br />The moment that we met<br />I thought u was as good as I<br />Was ever gonna get<br /> <br /><br /> No matter wot u look like<br />I'll always love ya dear<br />Now shut up while the footy's on<br />And fetch another beer!]]></content:encoded>
			<guid>http://fizma.com/forum/politically-incorrect-jokes-39/an-australian-love-poem/</guid>
			<pubDate>Sat, 09 Oct 2010 11:49:04 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Rhiannon</dc:creator>
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