Society

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic





Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada



Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders



Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely, Google



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985



Dear Justin Bieber,

Ariel would really love her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton



Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack



Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle



Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare



Dear Soccer Fans,

B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas



Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God



Dear Rubik's Cube,

Done!

Sincerely, Colorblind



Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods



Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls



Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio



Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan



Dear Romeo,

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

Sincerely, Juliet



Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed



Dear Sex Educators,

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary



Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast



Dear Edward,

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

Sincerely, a stake





Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

One day, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant was invited to dine with his Commander in the field mess.

When they entered the mess area they found the place quite crowded.

They finally noticed a table with two empty chairs. There were three lieutenants seated there, so the Colonel asked if they might join them. The lieutenants, of course, promptly invited them to join the table. The Colonel and the Gunny ordered lunch and engaged in light conversation as they ate.

At one point the Gunny mentioned that he had observed characteristics about many officers from which he could normally determine the sources of their commissioning. The lieutenants were eager to hear about this and asked if he could tell how each of them had been commissioned.

The Gunny turned to the lieutenant on his left and said that the he had received his commission through attendance at ROTC. The young officer confirmed that this was indeed correct and asked how the Gunny had figured determined this. The Gunny replied that by his conversation the lieutenant seemed to have a strong academic background but limited military experience.

The Gunny then told the lieutenant on his right that he had gone through OCS after previously serving as an enlisted man. The lieutenant confirmed that was indeed the case, and asked how the Gunny had figured it out. The Gunny replied that the lieutenant’s conversation indicated that he had a firm military background and a lot of common sense, but not much book learning.

At this, the third lieutenant asked the Gunny if he had determined how he had received his commission. The Gunny promptly replied that the lieutenant had graduated from the United States Naval Academy. The young officer stated that this was correct and asked if the Gunny had noticed his high level of intelligence, precise military bearing, or other
superior qualities acquired at the Naval Academy. The Gunny replied that it was none of these that had tipped him off, he merely observed the lieutenant's class ring while he was picking his nose.

# Operator! Give me the number for 911!

# Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

# Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

# Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

# I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

# Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

# Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

# Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

# Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

# Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

# You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

# Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

1. Fear of homelessness

Many women worry that they will end up homeless, but it should be remembered that much money to have the future is entirely in their own hands, and should rely on their own efforts.

2. Worry about inability to pay child's college tuition

As a mother, many women would worry about the future can not afford the cost of college kids, is not their own retirement age to still have to run around trying to make money. In fact, do not have to worry about, the child should be allowed to rely on their ability to apply for scholarships or student loans.

3. Fear of mistakes in the issue of money

Both in the investment company or the discussion of the family, women have always been excluded outstanding. Because women on the issue of money has always been quit for. The reason why they fear, often because of fear of the family's financial power over to her husband after the couple divorced, or if his death will face a significant loss. Therefore, experts recommend that women, whether single or married should learn financial management, on their own to take control of their financial situation.

4. Fear of financial

Because of fear of mistakes in the issue of money, many women will avoid financial problems, or just put money banks charged interest on that point the poor. In fact, women should be aware that financial management is also a fully learn the skills from scratch, if it is not difficult for its own mien, it can ask people to help you do it.

5. Fear of divorce

In an unhealthy marriage in divorce, women tend to worry themselves into poverty. Divorce financial analyst pointed out that these women should first take stock of what their economic status, and then slowly look for jobs to feed themselves.

6. Fear of being abandoned because of liability

Many women worry that their partner informed of their financial secrets away, so will the debt, over-consumption and poor credit records to the other tight-lipped. But experts believe that the couple be frank, or better, while to the other party to seek spiritual or material help.